Tips on Life in Small Bites

Tackling Negative Self-Talk Outline: Self-Talk Origins of Our Self-Talk Connection to Our Core Beliefs Acknowledge it Combat it Soul Ties Cut Off Ungodly Soul Ties Replace it Self-Talk We hear a “script” running in our head, sometimes narrating what’s going on, sometimes accusing/condemning us and other times comforting us. It represents our view toward life/world view/expectations toward life. Origins of Our Self-Talk Our expectations toward life are informed by our observations and experiences. We could have heard someone saying certain things about us; about them; about life in general – and if we’ve heard it from our family of origin (especially from our parents), we tend to embrace them without much conscious awareness or questioning. A lot of our self-talk came from our Core Beliefs. Connection to Our Core Beliefs Our Core Beliefs came from our earliest experiences as infants – before we had words. We unconsciously “reason” our experiences to “make sense” of them – even thoug...

Repetition Compulsion, Secondary Gains, Sublimation & Overcoming Core Beliefs Repetition Compulsion • Our unresolved issues reside in our unconscious. • We unconsciously repeat the same dynamic from our unresolved issues/relationships in our present/ensuing relationships, in our effort to undo/make alright the original relationship. • We find ourselves attracted to friends and relationships/find ourselves in situations that have similar dynamics with our unresolved original relationships. • These situations/relationship dynamics generate “familiar feelings” in us. • Since the present relationship is not the original relationship, doesn’t matter how much we try to fix our present relationship of the same ilk, the original relationship cannot be fixed in this present one.  • This operates from our unconscious; it is not intentional, so we ought not “blame” ourselves for it. • Example A: A person grew up with a mother who was narcissistic (unable to separate onself f...

CORE BELIEFS Outline: Core Beliefs  Stages of Grief Forgiveness – Purpose and the How To’s We Get to Start Anew Core Beliefs Core Beliefs are our infant mind’s ways of observing and understanding the world. Since infants don’t have words, our unconscious (the seat of our emotions) are “recording” whatever happens to us in order to “make sense” of them. However, since logic is shaped by words, but we don’t yet have words, our infant experiences inform us what we are to “expect” from the world/our life. For the rest of our life, we look for “proofs” in our life to validate and reinforce our Core Beliefs: It’s like an industrial sized HUGE and POWERFUL magnet, scanning our environment and experiences to pick up all “proofs” and vestiges to prove our Core Beliefs. The example of my 50’s patient who lived with stage four breast cancer for ten years: Her Core Belief was that she’d be abandoned, even when reality was contrary to this belief. The example of “Pseudo-independence” from an in...