CORE BELIEFS


Outline:

  • Core Beliefs 
  • Stages of Grief
  • Forgiveness – Purpose and the How To’s
  • We Get to Start Anew


Core Beliefs

  • Core Beliefs are our infant mind’s ways of observing and understanding the world.
  • Since infants don’t have words, our unconscious (the seat of our emotions) are “recording” whatever happens to us in order to “make sense” of them. However, since logic is shaped by words, but we don’t yet have words, our infant experiences inform us what we are to “expect” from the world/our life.
  • For the rest of our life, we look for “proofs” in our life to validate and reinforce our Core Beliefs: It’s like an industrial sized HUGE and POWERFUL magnet, scanning our environment and experiences to pick up all “proofs” and vestiges to prove our Core Beliefs.
  • The example of my 50’s patient who lived with stage four breast cancer for ten years: Her Core Belief was that she’d be abandoned, even when reality was contrary to this belief.
  • The example of “Pseudo-independence” from an infant being sleep-trained too early.
  • What might be prevailing themes in your mindset? What feelings do you tend to feel or go (back) to most often?
  • We’d do well to “mourn” the origins/causes of these Core Beliefs.
  • In so doing, it’s like we’re putting on STRONG plastic caps on the magnet of our Core Beliefs so it would stop attracting further hurt to prove our Core Beliefs.

Stages of Grief

  1. Shock and Denial.
  2. Anger: Toward self, toward what we lost, toward God for allowing it to happen to us.
  3. Bargaining.
  4. Depression: Two parts – A) Missing what was lost; B) Relieved that we no longer have to deal with the downside/negative aspects of what was lost.
  5. Acceptance.

Forgiveness

  • Forgiveness is NOT: Denying the wrong done to us; make okay what was done or not done to (should have been done for) us; allowing the aggressor to continue to hurt us.
  • Forgiveness is not forgetfulness: God forgets our sins (“I, even I, am he who blots out

your transgressions, for my own sake” ~ Isaiah 43:25). As we forgive our aggressors, we need to remember how they are in order to adjust our expectations and be wise to protect ourselves as needed.

  • Forgiveness is to set us free from the wrong done to us.
  • Forgiveness is to take back control what was robbed of us.
  • Forgiveness is for us, not so much for the aggressor.
  • Forgiveness is to free us from continuing the harm inflicted us by our aggressor – that we are now inflicting on ourselves.
  • Forgiveness is also mandated by God: “14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15).
  • Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling.
  • We choose to forgive others each time we think of them or of the hurt inflicted by them, and feelings will eventually follow.
  • We know we’ve fully forgiven the other person when we are able to: 1) Empathize with them of their failures; 2) Truly wish good for them; 3) See the “purpose” God had for allowing this hurt/harm ~ How God has been able to turn what was meant for harm into something good (Genesis 50: 20 ~ “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives”).

We Get to Start Anew:

When we have forgiven our aggressors, we can reset our mindset and choose to have new Core Beliefs ~ Colossians 3: 1-2, 12-14 “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things… 12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

Conclusion:

  • We identify our Core Beliefs.
  • We grieve our past hurts that formed our Core Beliefs.
  • We choose to forgive so we can be set free.
  • We take back control of our emotions and hurts fed by our Core Beliefs.
  • We take on the mindset of Christ and choose to identify with Christ and His characters, to forgive, to bear with one another and to put on love.



Poem on Core Beliefs

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