Stay in Our Lane 

Introduction:

I usually do not appreciate having any sort of restraints on my life. The double yellow lines on the road feel restrictive on one-lane country roads when there’s a slow-moving vehicle in front of me. Traveling at high speed on those one-lane roads, I know that disregarding the double yellow lines on the road to pass a slow-moving vehicle could be dangerous. I am constantly looking for the dotted yellow line on my side of the lane, so I could quickly and safely speed up and pass the slow car.

“Stay in your own lane” has been an often-quoted phrase for quite a few years now. At the time, I understood it to mean that we need to mind our own business and not get overly involved in others’ affairs. 

However, as I was driving on the Skyline Drive this past week in dense fog, I gained a new understanding and appreciation of this phrase. The roads were windy, and over 1,000 feet in elevation. At times, the visibility in this fog was less than 50 feet, and the taillight of a car would “suddenly appear” in front of me, making me step on my brakes hard. Other times, without the aid of the double yellow solid lines to my left and the white road line to my right, I’d have either driven into oncoming traffic or driven off the cliffs.

These lane markings helped to guide me safely throughout the long foggy drive until I got to an exit to get off the Skyline Drive altogether. 

I thought about the numerous policies and laws that I sometimes find restrictive and disagree with. A lot of these “restrictions” came about after people have been in unfortunate situations due to a lack of regulations/guidelines/policies. Similarly, sometimes restrictions in life are boundaries that help to keep us safe and healthy.

Stay in Our Own Lane (Part I): Mind Our Own Business

“First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye” (Matthew 7:5).

We can get offended or frustrated by what someone has done to us, or what we see they do to themselves or to others. We might even think we are doing the person a favor by pointing out their blind spot to them. Meanwhile, we might be seeing the situation through our own colored lenses and might be projecting onto the other person something that is actually about our own unresolved hang-ups or issues. 

When we are annoyed in or by a situation, it behooves us to first examine ourselves, to see if there is any blind spot in ourselves. Analyze ourselves. Pray on it. Sleep on it. Ask God and ask trusted friends who can be honest with us about our possible blind spots.   

Upon self-examination, we would do well to admit that we do not know the entire story of what and the reasons that might be contributing to the other person’s behavior. We can choose to practice humility, curiosity, open-mindedness, mercy, and grace toward the person who is a source of annoyance for us at the moment.

We invite the Holy Spirit into the situation, to reveal our own blind spots and the source of our annoyance.

We offer up to God the situation that we are concerned about and surrender ourselves and the situation to Him.

We accept the outcome of the situation, even when we have not actively “gotten involved” to address what we see in the other person. We trust that it is God’s job to convict, teach, and correct each person - not ours.  

After all the above steps, if we are still convicted by the Holy Spirit to do something about the situation, we go humbly: Ready to admit our own over-enthusiasm that might not have come from God and ask for permission to share our observation. “Don’t throw your pearls before pigs” (Matthew 7:6) - and not share if the person isn’t open to listening to us. 

In the words of Father Dolindo Ruotolo: "O Jesus, I surrender myself to You, take care of everything!” Leave all our concerns at the feet of Jesus, give Him our burdens and annoyances, and walk away free of concerns that vie to bog us down.

Stay in Our Own Lane (Part II): Stay Inside Our Boundary Lines

Even when we feel restricted and sometimes resentful about the constraints in our lives, it could be helpful for us to look for the “upside” of each situation, and to appreciate the benefits of these restrictions. 

The father of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman, is a self-confessed curmudgeon. He posits that whether we are an optimist or pessimist are determined by three factors: Genetic predisposition (up to 50%); Circumstances (10%); and Our mindset (40%). Even though Seligman believes he has a genetic predisposition of pessimism of 50%, he can utilize his mindset – choosing to look at the glass as half full versus half empty – to combat his pessimistic tendency. 

One Biblical way to look at negative happenings in our lives is to emulate Joseph as he addressed his brothers who sold him into slavery: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good…” (Genesis 50: 20a). If we believe God is a Sovereign God, He is truly able to “cause all things to work together for good…” (Romans 8:28a) - not just for us, but for all involved in the situation we find ourselves in.

Trust God, therefore, for the constraints in our lives, turning once again to God and offering to Him our circumstances and struggles:

We invite the Holy Spirit into the situation, even when we feel powerless and possibly resentful.

We offer up to God the situation that we are experiencing at the moment and surrender ourselves to Him.

We accept the outcome of the situation.

We offer our body daily, as a living sacrifice. As we do so, we will find Shalom: A total sense of well-being. 

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him” (Colossians 3:17).