Expectations Toward Our Spouse 


As we do life we find that 

We don't have much control over our life

What happens to us

What circumstances we find ourself in


Many things are outside of our control


However

We do have control over

Our expectations toward ourselves

Our expectations toward others

Our expectations toward life

Our expectations toward God


Since we cannot control

Others or God



We can exert our control over ourselves


Our expectations


Before we got married

We thought we were marrying an orange

Thick-skinned and juicy


After we got married

We found out that we actually married an apple

Thin-skinned and crispy


We have a choice here


We can bemoan that we didn't get 

the orange we expected and feel 

Angry

Sad

Disappointed

Cheated

Fooled

Disillusioned

Bitter

Resentful

And accuse our spouse of having baited and switch on us


Giving them the message that they are inadequate

Making them feel discouraged and defeated

Even giving up on trying to become 

A better apple

A better spouse


We both lose


Or


We can choose to get to know this apple

To study what type of apple this is

What can we actually expect from this apple


In so doing


We can be appreciative of our apple

and become more content with our spouse


Our spouse feels 

Seen

Heard

Understood

Accepted

Loved


Such person would be motivated to become their best selves

and give us more of what we want and hoped for


We both win


We get more of what we would like

Our spouse feels like they are a hero/heroine

being able to live up to our expectations


We are more content with our marriage

Our spouse become more motivated to show up as

A more loving spouse

A capable human being

An attentive partner

A more self-assured adult


Expectations 

Expectations

Expectations


We have control over them





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